Halloween

Halloween was quiet.  Except for when we dressed Boston as a ghost and she tore through the backyard trying to rid herself of the embarrassing costume.  

Luca ran around the neighborhood with some friends dressed as a robber and came home with some loot.  

Times are changing because Luca did the annual dump on the living room carpet and sorted out his favorites and quickly packed everything else up and said, "Take it.  I don't want it."  Mia ran around with some of her friends but I didn't get a picture!  They were supposed to dress as Care Bears but I don't think the girls even made it around to getting their costumes on.  With a teen and a pre-teen, I'm lucky if I can document them at all with photos these days.  That's why I post a lot of photos of sweet Boston who can't object.  ;)

 

Quaranteam

Rachel was kind enough to take some photos of us before Thanksgiving.  We drove to Ft. Collins for a pizza dinner and we ran down the street to this lovely spot to take pictures before the sun went down.  You can't tell from the photos but the wind picked up and it was COLD.  I know this has been a strange time, but it's been good too.  I wanted to document this year and hold it to remember.  We've had our challenges as a family, as all families have.  But I'm proud of us for navigating all of the tricky and tender spots together.  Despite obviously living and spending a lot of time with one another before the pandemic, this year has exposed any vulnerabilities we may have been able to hide.  We've learned so much about each other, and learned that acceptance truly is a tenant of family.  

 

A Birthday Gathering

Mia had some of her closest friends over last Saturday night for a birthday dinner.  It was simple 14 year old fun.  The girls ate and then jumped on the tramp in the cold.  They ran around and laughed and gave her gifts.  This bunch of girls is really cool - all different talents and interests but a shared love of friendship.  I'm happy she has this gang.  

She started off the weekend with a race, coming in second!  You'd never know it from looking at this photo but it was COLD.  

 

Riding and Running

 Mia has been riding and volunteering at a barn for rescued horses that are being rehabilitated and it has been so fun to join her most days out at the ranch.  She, like me, loves the hard work of horses just as much as the riding.  This ranch provides the perfect place to learn a different side of horsemanship.  These horses, over 50, have been rescued from all over the country from various situations.  Some are retired that can't be ridden that have been abandoned by their owners, some were rescued from auction, some were wild and rescued from slaughter when thousands were rounded up from open land in different states.  Wild horses DO exist, but the herds can get so large that they begin to starve, and need support.  

We both love the feeling of cold metal under our hands as we push open paddock gates, our clucking tongues piercing the silent air as we move close to halter which ever horse we need.  Being rescued, these beauties require a gentle touch.  

We love the precision involved in riding.  It looks easy, right?  But it isn't.  Placement of every body part is perfected, not because it looks pretty (it does), but because it matters.  The horse feels everything.  Every moving wobbly bit on its back is a cue.  Every sound and every sigh is an ask for the horse.  You learn to be very aware that every part of your being exudes a message.  

Mia's love for running doesn't surprise me, because it's quite similar in ways to riding.  The commitment to self, the quiet restraint it requires, the ease in the way it all looks, the masking of the hard work.  Mia runs for a club cross country team and it has become a deep love.  These girls are a lot like her and the discovery of friends with similar interests was just as fun to watch explode, as was her love of running.  They hit the trails last weekend and it was so cool to hear about.  I discovered trail running in college and found so much of myself out there.  I hope she too meets new versions of herself in open spaces.  

Mia's 14th Birthday

 Dear Mia,

You are 14!  We had such a beautiful day celebrating YOU.  As a family, we drove down to a favorite brunch spot and then shopped around a bit.  You and your brother ordered huge steaming cups of hot chocolate and your dad and I drank coffeee and watched you both, filled with the kind of pride that I never understood on parents' faces until I had my own children.  You are now almost taller than me, and you wear the same shoe size (or larger?).  You are fiercely independent and have grown remarkably capable.  You are smart and active and engaging and funny.  So many things....but what's strange is that my birthday wish for you is quite simple, and unrelated to all of this package of who you currently are.  My birthday wish is that you feel loved deep inside, the part of you inside that never sees the glory and light of recognition and accolades.  We love you no matter what.  It's so easy to fall into who we are and feel as if those qualities define us.  We quite literally BECOME the runner, the rider, the student, the outgoing one, etc.  We fail to remember that those are things ABOUT us, but not who we are.  My birthday wish is that you always know you can change and morph and grow and you won't ever need to explain why to us. We'll just be standing by, cheering you on regardless.   It is pure joy watching you grow.  We are the luckiest.  

So much love,

Mom

Covid Summer - 2020

 Trying to gather a collection of photos to define a season is an interesting exercise.  A whole season.  I haven't blogged since the last day of school for the kids and it is now a whopping FIVE months later.  I was going to just skip this season, and begin again with today.  But this summer was special.  I feel a bit like a protective mother pushing her shy child in front of her telling the world to "Look over here!  THIS child has something to say too!"  Summer.  My shy child this year.  My child with a heart of gold, full of silly laughs and quiet pensive moments.  Sure, the season had dark clouds at times and stormy moods - fires and heat, uprisings and well, an all looming presence of COVID - but it also had tender soft moments.  I can't not document how this season was born, grew, and faded into oranges and browns and reds right before my eyes.  It all happended so quickly, yet so slowly - so perfectly imperfect.  So, here is my attempt to capture this time in our lives.

I hiked.  A lot.  I hiked alone.  With one of my best friends, Erin.  I hiked with Mia.  Boston.  The family.  It just felt good and right.  

There were a lot of quiet moments at home, the kids off busying themselves with some normalcy - modified swim team and cross country for Mia, bike rides and hang out time with friends for Luca.  It took me a bit to settle into this stage in which they don't need me as much anymore.  But, Boston was my trusty companion.  It's no wonder she has some separation anxiety now....we have been like peanut butter and jelly.  

The Vail Kids' Adventure Games was cancelled this year: an event Mia looks forward to every year.  But, in true 2020 style, we made the best of it and headed to the mountains with Rachel and Brynn anyway.  We had our own adventure, and I think it's one I won't forget soon.  

Luca did what he does best, which is have fun, leap high, and look for excitement.  Summer camp was cancelled.  Everything essentially was.  But I'm proud of my kids for finding fun in simple ways.  

I walked.  A lot.  And ran.  I began noticing all of the small things around me, and watched everyday how things would begin to age and fade.  Seasons are just that....they end.  

Mia ran.  A lot.  She has found power and joy in racing and I'm so happy to watch her bloom, all the while noticing it is a very different season than my own.  

The girls in Vail

The cousins hung out a bit and Nana joined them on some fun hangouts.  Paddle boarding was a big thing this summer.  

We watched Mia run, with Boston our constant and faithful third child.  She has gentle relationships with both of the kids, and it warms my heart to see how they seek her out.  

We did escape to the Broadmoor for a night and it was odd and wonderful all the same.  We were all masked when indoors, and socially distanced at the pool, but some constants remained....like the milk shakes. 

We took this photo on the elevator back to our room after the pool all day.  I laughed, but felt sad too.  

The Broadmoor was a simple get away, close, easy.  But it always feels like we're light years away from life.  

There were simple moments....old school....setting up the tent in the back to get ready for camping.  

Mia and I hiked Mt. Bierstadt one morning.  We hit the trail very early, quiet and a bit cold.  She hikes and moves like I do...fast, determined, mostly quiet.  We summitted in record time and made our way back long before lunch even.  We saw fields of goats and it felt surreal.  We chatted a bit on the way down about life, love, and everything in between.  As we drove home, I said, "You know...you might be one of my favorite people to hit a trail with."  "Really??" she said.  

We hiked this 14er when she and Luca were very young, but we didn't reach the summit that time (almost!).  So, technically, this was her first 14er.  She kindly allowed me to take a photo and didn't even grimace when I pulled the sign from my pack.  In fact, another woman who hiked alone said, "A sign??  Can I borrow it and will you snap a picture of me?"   Mia is one hell of an athlete and it's a joy partnering with her. 

Bijou was 16 when she died and hadn't been able to hike or play much outside for years before her death.  Losing Bijou was so hard, and I'll always miss her.  Boston though has reminded me what it's like to have a pup at my side while out and about.  

Cousins at Copper Mountain.  

A strangely quiet 4th of July.....be we made it special.  

A lot of this over the summer.  I joked that the porch was my office.  

A stunning hike with Erin.  

Of course, neither of us liked this photo, but I said, "When we're little old ladies, we'll have it, and we'll smile and say, "Remember the summer of 2020?"  

It was a summer of waiting, maybe some longing.  Aching a bit.  But also laughing and playing and hiking and loving.  We're still looking out the window, hopeful that things will all shift.  And they will.  They always do.