Tis the Season

To give is to receive. That's my theme this Christmas season. Today officially marks the first day of advent. I like the whole idea of a period of preparation. For me, this year, it's a period of time to focus on giving. That being said, the big question I'm pondering is how I can give meaningful gifts that are still minimal. My quest to streamline my gift giving isn't an attempt to save money; it's more of a journey to discover what the art of giving really means. What is more valuable: my time, my energy, my thought, my sincerity? I guess all of it. So how can I fit all of these valuable things into one box? One gift?

I've never been a great gift giver. I always seem to buy the wrong thing, or guess the wrong size. I haven't mastered the art of finding the perfect something at just the right time. I think I've come to realize that my problem all along has been that I've been giving the gift without the effort and sincerity wrapped in with the package.

So this season I decided to take what I think I do sort of well, which is create environments, and make that my gift, or at least a part of it. I hung my advent calendar this year for Mia. I carefully filled bags with small treats, small tokens of my affection and numbered each bag. I hung them and decided the anticipation, the fun display, the act of opening a small bag knowing that a teeny bit of goodness will be inside of it, IS the gift, more than the actual material item.

Here is to a season of less crap and more thought. Less consumption and more consideration. Less stress and more moments of gratitude, of which there are too many to really even count.

Here is to a season of warmth and health to my most favorite lady out there too - my mom.

Speaking of Bijou...

Bijou stayed with Emily, Peter, Hadley and Finn while we were in AZ. This is the e-mail and photo I got from Emily.

So when I first saw this I said "You guys, please do not put clothes on the poodle. It's cruel and she does not like it."But before I removed the dress I had to take a picture.She's wearing a vintage dress with poodles on it. I mean, that's funny,right? Love you.No more dressing up your dog, I promise.

An open love letter

Bijou,
Just a note to say that I love you. There is a special spot in my heart for just you. You watch me running all around day after day after day, and you never ask me for anything. (Well, that's not entirely true. Sometimes you greet me with a pair of dirty underwear at 2:00 in the morning and your tail wagging - you want to play.) You endure ear pulling and rice thrown and then buried in your hair. You endure kids using you as a pillow. You endure us sometimes saying, "We love you too Bij" from across the room as we pull babies from carseats and in and out of cribs and beds.

I look forward to their bedtime so that I can read, watch TV, reflect on the day, but most importantly, to dote on you. You will always be my first. You were the puppy I pulled into bed with us on your first night (against V's wishes) and you have faithfully stayed. You were the one who nursed me through heartbreak and loss, pregnancy, childbirth, countless feelings of insecurity/inadequecy.....You've seen it all - faithfully cuddled next to me.

Life has changed. And I adore you for changing with it all. While it may not seem like it at times, I am signing off with words I most honestly mean....

Faithfully and lovingly yours,
Meg

A lot has changed in a week!

It's official, Luca can now crawl to his sister to bug her. Buckle your seatbelt. This ride might get a bit bumpy.

Thanksgiving 2009 - The Nonna in Arizona

Thanksgiving in Arizona with Nonna, Uncle Mike, and Miriam (Mimzie) was a wild success. It was gorgeous weather (Swimming outside on Thanksgiving weekend? Yes please.) Mia loved hanging with her cousin Mimzie (11 years old) and adopted saying such things as "This is so AWESOME!" and "Mom, get out. Mimz and I are playing. And close the door on your way out!" The beauty of Mia hanging out with this particular tween is that this one doesn't roll her eyes, say inappropriate things, or think adults are uncool. Contrary to most tweens, Mimz says things like, "I'm having a hard time using the word 'ingenuity' to describe someone. Oh wait. Oh yeah. 'Ingenious'", followed by a super darling giggle. Mimz gets the super star award for playing with Mia and enduring a lot of three year old petting and hugging.

We all hung out, ate our weight in Nonna made food, and visited the Desert Museum, which is really a fascinating museum (where Mimz tried on bat ears) and Mia carted her heavy little backpack all around like an old pro.

Let's not kid ourselves here though. Traveling with small children is difficult, even when said small children are rock stars (seriously, we have good good good kids.) Kids are routine oriented, hungry often, heavy to hold, needing the bathroom at the WORST times, prone to carrying around a bunch of unnecessary crap, and really not even proficient at expressing themselves. BUT, I have to say, something about this trip was really meaningful. Maybe because it was our first trip as a family of four. Maybe because I've matured and really enjoy seeing V so happy to be around his family. Maybe because I like pushing myself to the limits of sanity, and saying I survived gracefully. Maybe because I've actually discovered that good times aren't always quiet and civilized. They are usually a bit exhausting filled with a few tears, some band aid applications and a lot of moments that I think "Wow. I'm fulfilled. Really." Who knows why this trip was really nice, but it just was. All the heavy crap. The odd requests for bathrooms. The screaming tendinitis in my left wrist as I held a dangling toddler through two airports. The two sleepless nights when Luca decided coo and smile for 8 straight hours at me in bed (seriously, no crying, just cooing and smiling....life could be worse.)It was all worth it.

Luca can clap now too. Save your applause, the milestones just keep coming. I have a feeling I'll be posting about a new one every day or so.

Change is in the air

Do you want to see something that makes me smile?

You can either watch with sound, if you're in the mood for some remixed dance number, or you can watch on mute. Either way, Luca steals the show.

My Family from WiddlyTinks.com

I heart this graphic.

Fort Mia

Tents, playhouses, forts....they are all the rage here in the "Pellygreenoooos" house (as Mia calls us). Here she is telling me to bring snacks and drinks "quick!".

God I wish I had a personal servant to cater to my every need as well.

I'm accepting applications.

Bilingual Snowmen

Meet Uno and Dos. Mia spent the afternoon building snowmen. She named the big one, Uno, and the little one, Dos.

Luca spent his day crawling from one dangerous object to the next.

Hot chocolate was had, a few head bonks too, and now a major clean up is in order. V and I spent the whole day playing and the house looks like a crew of three year olds just swept through, not just one.

Happy week to all.

I would so ace preschool

V said I'll probably get an A on the Star of the Week poster I created for Mia's preschool. I took it a bit too seriously. She's my first. What can I say?

Friends

They do this a lot, lay side by side and communicate in some bizarre language that I don't know. He is mesmerized by her, and she is enchanted with him. They are beginning to create a relationship and it's amazing to watch. Right now, she is the protector. She proudly puts her arm around him and mimics his position, just like the photo. She shows him things and tells him stories. (Brace yourself Luca, the talking NEVER stops.) I'm waiting for the day when they can flip in and out of that protector role. I'm excited for the day when he's big enough to put his arm around her, help her.

To you Luca and Mia.....cherish one another. Take care of each other. Support each other. You are the keepers of each other's memories, the eyes for each other, as well as the ears. You are each other's first true friend. Be loyal to that.

Love

I love hats on babies. Especially on this baby.

The other night, Luca woke up at 3:30 in the morning and was crying. V and I stared at each other in the dark of our room and contemplated getting him. The conversation went something like this...

"He needs to learn to put himself back to sleep."

"Yes, I know. But what if he's wet? What if he's cold? I wouldn't expect you to put yourself back to sleep in wet clothes."

"He's probably not wet. I think he's just so used to you going in to rescue him. Let him cry a bit."

The second hand ticked by and V and I stared at the ceiling. I knew Luca was wet but I didn't say anything. We continued to lay there, quietly anticipating quiet. We should have been using the time to discuss the things that we never really have time to discuss. Weighty issues. Like whether or not we should go whole hog and embrace vegetarianism openly (excuse the hog reference, I couldn't help it.) We don't really eat meat at home but we haven't begun to explore the option beyond our house, beyond our own conversations. I would do it. But would V? We could have used the time to discuss the real reason we would consider private schools. Is it religion? Is it because it is what we know? Is it because we somehow fear that our children will be like everyone else if they don't have an education that somehow makes them unique? I think I know what I believe. But what does V believe? We could have discussed our jobs - what's going well, what we would change. We were silent though, watching the clock. It was the dead of night and it somehow felt odd to embark on real conversation.

V finally broke and went to fetch our hollering baby. He was gone for a bit so I pulled myself out of bed and walked the well worn path, following the dim light coming from Luca's room. Both V and Luca were on the floor, shadows of themselves, illuminated only by a nightlight. Luca was naked and V was too tired to wrangle him into a dry set of pajamas (I knew I was right.)

Luca was in the crawl position and smiled when he saw me enter the room. I squatted down next to him and picked him up. Naked and warm. He curled into me, the way he does, and V smiled.

"God he's a cute kid" V said.

"Yeah."

The three of us sat there, in the middle of the night, on the floor just for a few minutes. I feel like a lot was exchanged between V and me in that space though. I learned more than I would have had I pursued actual conversation earlier in our bed, when we were waiting for some kind of magical shift to occur in Luca's room, waiting for noisy cries to turn into silent slumber.

While I still don't know if V is ready, or even willing, to try being openly vegetarian or if he fears raising our children differently from the way we were raised in regards to their education, I do know one thing from our quiet non conversation at 3:30 a.m.

We're on the same page. There may be some differences. Some meaty ones. Some bookish ones. But, all in all, he and I are so in sync with what's important.

I took over and put the warm pjs on and Luca fell promptly back to sleep.

As did we.

Star of the Week

A three year old I know is the Star of the Week next week at preschool. I found a questionnaire in her cubby that we need to fill out. What is your favorite animal? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite food? I had the piece of paper in my lap and asked her the various questions on our drive home. She gave me typical responses, never just a singular answer. Her favorite animal is a horse/cat/dog. Her favorite color is yellow/pink/purple/green/blue/black/white. When I explained that "favorite" meant the one you like best, she seemed slightly confused. "But I like them all." I then asked the next question, what do you want to be when you grow up? I was expecting a multitude of answers from Whole Foods worker to librarian. She didn't miss a beat though. She said, with a sense of purpose and confidence, "I want to be a mommy and a daddy."

I was trying to switch lanes, while reading the paper in my lap, and she said it again. "I want to be like you and Daddy."

It was just a moment. A fleeting one too. Tomorrow she'll want to be a firegirl or a princess or perhaps someone who bakes cupcakes. But today, she wants to be like me, like V. There is no greater compliment. Truly. Mia is far too young to understand the undertaking of becoming a parent. Or the complicated nuances of raising another human being. When she innocently expressed wanting to be like us, I wasn't blindly flattered because she thinks I cook well or can wear high heels and lipstick (something I've told her mommies get to do). I wasn't overtaken with a moment of vanity, thinking my role is the only important one in her life. I understood at that moment that what she was saying was that when she grows up, she wants to feel safe and loved. She wants the freedom to laugh but also be pensive. She wants to feel validated and supported. She was telling me that when she's "tall" (a way she describes being grown up), she doesn't want things to change. Things could go on in this fashion for an indefinite amount of time and we would all blissfully maneuver the road of life like we do.

I couldn't help but feel the tug of my own longings of wanting to preserve what I have - freeze it. The busy nature of my days. The chaotic call of child rearing. The sippy cups and the toys strewn on the floor. Onesies and baby shampoo. Life doesn't allow you to hold anything indefinitely though. Your sense of safety must be created internally.

As a parent, the trick is teaching your child to internalize all of that safety you provide. Teaching them to replicate it. Make it themselves. As I drove to the hospital the day my dad died, I kept thinking, but I'm not me without him. He died in the midst of my identity crisis and when I walked out of the hospital, into the blinding light of day, with an infant and a husband and a job and this adult life, I managed. To my shock, I managed. Every day it just became more and more apparent that I was living the life he and my mom taught me to live. I continued to feel safe. And loved. And validated. And supported.

Hearing Mia say she wants to be like me felt like her saying she wants to be like him, and all of the others that have come before her. As I unbuckled her carseat and set her free to run about as she does, I told her that she will be like us. She smiled and seemed satisfied.

We're both stars this week.

Better Not Squash

Mia helped me shop today and she said, "Why did you say 'better not squash'?" It took me a minute to realize that she was referring to the butternut squash. She couldn't understand why I was threatening the harmless yellow veggie.

Party!

We like traditions around here. We celebrated Mia's 6th month birthday with a bash (see top two photos) so we did the same for Luca. Except we didn't have a cake or candles for Luca, typical for a second child. Mia did have a lollipop though so one partygoer thought the fiesta was a huge success.

You've hit the half way mark Luca. Nice work. I would have to give you high marks in all content areas thus far. Your effort grade is starting to slip in the sleeping through the night department though. Please work on that.

Happy 6th month birthday dear boy!

The Jogger

I'm starting to take just Luca out on runs while Mia is at school. Here are two of the kids on an unseasonably warm day.

Halloween!

Super fun Halloween! We met at The Provosts for a birthday dinner for my mom and then trick or treating. Luca was originally dressed as a pumpkin but then changed his costume after he repeatedly spit up all over it. He decided last minute to go as "fussiest baby in the West" and he nailed it. It really was so believable. My fault there though. His bedtime is 6:30, no ifs, ands, or buts. So what time did we decide to trick or treat? 6:30. Not a smart idea. Mia wore her kitty cat costume and thought the whole idea of ringing a bell and getting candy was novel. Brilliant. She talked excitedly the entire time and I knew she was so happy.

Check out Finn in the photos. He broke his collar bone while sledding so he was wearing pjs, a sling, and moon boots for good measure.

Until next year folks. I know someone who is already anxiously awaiting it, she happens to be asking me for more candy right now.