Sunday Morning Photo Shoot

One Month

Luca is a month old tomorrow. How did that happen? I look at him now and see a baby, not the scrawny newborn we brought home. I've been dressing him in his "whites"....white onesies....and loving the look. There is something special about a baby wearing white. Maybe it's the clean image it paints, a certain sense of freshness. Newness. His face is getting rounder, his legs and arms fuller. His chins are multiplying and his wrists are getting creased. His eyes are wider and I swear he's hinted at a smile with me. A shift is happening. Like the change of seasons, which you can smell in the air and feel in your bones, Luca is transitioning into his next self.

I feel like he and I have bonded so thoroughly. He responds to my touch and voice. Just today, I was putting him in his carseat, and he began to get fussy. His fussy cry turned into a full wail. I just leaned in close and put my hand on his cheek and whispered to him. He was quiet within seconds. All babies have their thing...a pacifier, a fan running, a moving car. Luca's "thing" is the human touch. I've been letting him sleep on my chest when I have the time (Shut up already about how I'll never be able to get him to sleep independently if I continue this way. He may just be my last baby and I intend to enjoy it.) I can't dote on him as I did with Mia and I cherish those hours that he and I can just sit - painted together like some kind of image from Bethlehem. Like a baby monkey, he kind of hangs on and settles in. In the beginning, he would blindly peck at my face, my neck, my chin...whatever was near his mouth. He doesn't peck anymore.

Another sign he's getting bigger.

Jam

Mia and Daddy bond over their shared love for making music. They "jam" - so to speak. The other day, while driving, Mia asked what cds were in my cd player. She knows that the player holds 6 cds. She said, "Mom, I think Dylan is in cd number 1, right?"

That's our girl.

(Not all of her taste is so cool. Wiggles are in cd number 3 and a "Music Together" cd is in number 2. We've got some work to do in introducing her to more mom and dad friendly tunes.)

Perfect Fit

We had to expect a little regression, right? I found Mia rocking in Luca's carseat while singing.

FIRST

His first hoodie. These first months are just a series of firsts. I want to photograph and document all of them but most of them would be pictures of my little guy in this position. I'm waiting for the days when a bit more action takes place.

I'm Trying....

For Luca's sake and for mine, I'm trying to "Bee Natural" too. I've never been a junk food junkie; I've always veered toward healthy eating and living. But let's be honest here, I have A LOT of room to improve. Having a teeny tiny one so dependent on me, and my intake, keeps me on my toes though. It's nice feeling that pull to pack my diet with more food from the earth. I'm not perfect (nursing is the perfect excuse to indulge some isn't it?), but I'm trying.

Bg Sister

Most of the time, Mia is the most gentle of big sisters. She has her "Lennie" moments (A little 'Of Mice and Men' reference for you literary folks) but she quickly realizes that poking the ears and eyes doesn't make for a happy baby.

Luca really looks at her, and watches. I have a feeling that will last a long long time.

Can I get any luckier?

I don't know if the title of this post refers to having such a lovely family or such a lovely BFF who happens to be a professional photographer as well! The fabulous Rachel, of Rachel Olsen Photography, worked her magic yet again and took some post birth shots of Luca with his adoring big sis Mia. They are already some of my most prized possessions. Photography is just so amazing...capturing the seen and unseen. I look at these photos and just feel full. I can't believe they belong to me...that these little people are a part of me....even Bijou. These photos tell a story. The story of my life.

My helper

Mia is the official "Mother's Helper". She fetches things (and also pulls out 100 others en route to fetch the one item I need). She sings and coos to Luca. She adoringly sometimes says, "I just love my little sister", at which time, I have to remind her that "brother" is the term used for boys. She then says, "Oh yeah. That's right."

Now that she is almost fully potty trained, I wonder, where did my little baby Mia go? I had both she and Luca in my lap and she laughed and said, "Mom, you have both kids in your lap. Both babies."

Yup. Both babies.

I will never tire of...

their love for each other.

Nana's Cottage

Where else can you sweep a patio while wearing wings without any underwear on?

Mia LOVES her Nana's house. I do too actually. It's still home to me in many many ways, even though I never lived in this house. All of the things that made my childhood home so warm and inviting are in the house my mom now lives. The artwork. The photos. The special vases and unusual objects collected from interesting places around the world. Even the toys in the basement (which speak to Mia) evoke such memories. Most of the toys were ours growing up. I vividly remember playing with some of them. Seeing Mia use them just makes it all feel so full circle.

Mia, Luca, and I ducked over to Mom's last week to play in a new environment. Mia entertained herself for 2 hours. I snapped this photo of her because it was such a moment....wearing her favorite fairy wings from Nana's dress up box - sans underwear because of our potty training - while sweeping. She was singing too. A sweet little song that I had never heard.

On the drive home, she tiredly said, "Mom, I really love Nana's house."

I do too Mia.

The pretender

This is how I found Bijou this afternoon. When I asked why Bijou was wearing a band-aid, Mia answered, "Because she slammed her fingers in a door and had to get an x-ray." I love my little pretender.

It's a Party!

A POTTY party that is. Yes. Mia is potty training, and doing a bang up job of it if I do say so myself. Funny how kids operate; they do things on their own time, with very little regard to how you feel about it. I had tried in vain for months before Luca's arrival to get Mia interested in using the potty. I tried bribery (If you use the potty, I'll give you M&Ms.). I tried peer pressure (All your friends at school are doing it, you should to.) I tried reverse psychology (It's no big deal. It's just a potty. You'll use it when you are ready.) The one thing I did not do was make too big a deal out of it all. I knew that would destroy any chances of getting the girl on the potty.

Mia chose to use the potty regularly when I have a 2 week old infant nursing round the clock. I was in my underwear on the couch in a somewhat compromising position with an infant dangling across my chest. Mia stood up and said, "I'm going to use the potty." There I was, stranded on the sofa, totally unable to assist. Off she went. She held me to my offer of M&Ms which I was happy to oblige. She has since used the potty regularly the past 2 days. So, we decided to throw a potty party. We ventured out to the store today with Luca to buy our supplies - a balloon (that said "Happy Birthday" but most of the guests can't read so we bought it anyway), cupcakes, and a present (per Mia's request....She actually said to me, "Can we go to a gift shop so that I can have a present at my party?") The party was a success. All the guest mingled and had a lovely time (me, Bijou, Luca, and Mia).

I put Mia to bed tonight with Luca asleep on my chest. I lay next to her, listening to Luca's gurgling little snore and watching Mia aimlessly make butterfly movements with her hands as she quieted her mind in the silent room. I felt so damn lucky. The moment was so sweet and real. I'm just always reminded that while life is hard, and it is, it is the small moments that count. The potty parties. The bed time rituals. The moments that seem silly and trivial are the moments that make up the bulk of our lives. I just feel more of an urge than ever to make them count.

LANE

Did I mention that Lane, Luca's middle name, is a nod to my dad? My grandmother's maiden name was Lane. My dad's mom. Rumor has it that Ford, as in Henry Ford, actually named the "Ford FairLANE" after my grandmother's family. Fair. Lane. We're related to Henry Ford by marriage somewhere along the way. I forget the details but it's my one claim to fame. Anyway, it was important for me to somehow have my dad involved in Luca's life. I wanted to solidify that connection, even though the two have never met. My dad also grew up on Lane Park in Boston. The street is almost legendary now in our family. All of my dad's stories about being little in Brighton, across the street from the B.C. campus, seem to start on Lane Park. I love that Luca carries that name and that place. More importantly, he carries that person. My dad.

(The street sign now hangs above Luca's closet thanks to my Mom who generously donated it to us via her house.)

Imagine...

Luca's arrival has done wonders for Mia's imagination. She is just entering into the years of pretend play and I find it so fascinating. She has a classroom full of kids that she teaches in Luca's room now. Pretend kids mind you. She gets her stack of books and sits on the chair and says, "I'm going to teach now." She points to the kids and then begins to read. She always chooses Luca's "baby books" that have one word per page with a corresponding picture. She holds the book up and says. "What does this say? Yes! Apple. Good job kids. You're right!" She also told me she wants to go buy more M&Ms because she is going to start potty training "the kids". (M&Ms are her reward for using the potty.) She told me to call her "Miss Julie", her teacher's name. And I was "Miss Brandi", the assistant.

I explained this all to V and he witnessed it this morning as we all rocked and played in Luca's room. V wondered if pretend play was appropriate. He worried that it was a sign of some kind of disorder. Are you kidding me? It is a GREAT sign. A gift really. Imaginative play is so important to development. It is a child's way of expressing understandings and truths. It is a place for them to feel in control. To try things they might not try normally. It saddens me that as a culture we don't value it. Our schools simply don't encourage it. Instead, they push literacy and math. Our day cares and preschools hardly even mention it. Instead, they talk about "curriculum" and "lessons". We're doing such damage by limiting their little minds. By narrowing their focuses. I was so proud to see Mia doing just what I know to be appropriate for her age and development. I was so happy that I was there to protect and nurture that safe space. We may not be able to give her everything she wants, but I can feel confident that we will give her all the space in the world to play, grow, have fun, and just imagine. What a world it would be if we, as adults, were still given such time.

Mia and Luca

More of my look alikes. Who is who?

My Babes

The look alike babies. Luca is in color. Mia is in black and white.

A message to our beloved Daddy at work....

Sweet Siblings

Mia is proving to be a fabulous big sister. She tells me, "Mom, I love him. He is ad-or-able." She says goes through his body parts and tells how much she loves each one. "I love his little toes. I love his little ears. I love his little hands." She has taken to Luca like a kid in a candy store. It's my diverted attention which she struggles with from time to time. Overall, she's adjusting better than I could have hoped though. She is only 2. I have to remind myself of that when she gets whiny or wants to be cuddled. Her world is different now and I try to be sensitive to that.

A photo shoot of Luca is in the works. He changes everyday and is now very alert. I love when he wakes up in the middle of the night and I go to feed him, I find him "biking" and looking around. He has kicked off his swaddle (and I'm an expert swaddler) and has his little legs pumping back and forth as he gazes around the room. He just kind of squeaks for me, not even really a cry - more like a gentle, "Hey, I'm now biking around my crib and you should come check me out!" He seems to respond to my voice. He hears me come in and kind of looks to find where the familiar sound is coming from. I love it.

Sleep deprived and really sort of blissfully so. Must be the hormones eh? Talk to me around 8 weeks and let's see how I'm fairing.

Warrior Princess - Part Deux

Adjusting is just about taking small steps. Insisting on going about your normal life and not letting a little thing like a leaky breast get in your way. Mia and Luca were ready for Rachel, my dear friend/professional photographer, by 9:00 a.m. I had both dressed in their picture clothes, Mia's curls tamed, and Luca spit up free. I even had lipstick on. And I showered. Success so far. The pictures were wildly successful and Rachel remains the best photographer in my estimation. She had the most creative ideas and captured the beauty I see in my babies. She is an artist. Through and through. How lucky we are to call her a dearest and have her chronicle our life as a family. I get somewhat choked up thinking about my history with her, and the history she has been witness to as the Pellegrino clan merged, and then grew. Check her out....rachelolsenphotography.com.

We left the house. All four of us again - me, Bijou, Luca, and Mia. V is working today and I just woke up with a feeling of adventure brewing deep in my belly. I knew our journey would be than a walk. We actually took the car. And that means taking the baby car seat and the stroller. Yes. I did it and I feel as if I've just conquered a feat that requires godly strength and power. We went to the bank (thank you drive through!), Starbucks (again, thank you drive through!), and the park. Mia played. Bijou played. And I nervously watched Luca through the side vent in his stroller and adjusted his blanket neurotically the whole time. The day has gone by quickly though and I feel that much more competent. Success begins with baby steps. And drive throughs.

The Bink

It's new to us. The pacifier. Mia never took one and I just assumed this little one wouldn't want one either. I guess I'm learning that all kids are different. The sheer size of it next to Luca's tiny face amazes me. Any comfort we can provide to Luca during this time is fine with us. I just can't imagine leaving the womb and then entering into the world of harsh lights, loud sounds, big poodles, and 2 year old sisters. He's handling the transition with such grace but everyone needs a security item. Hang on little man. The ride just gets better. I promise.

How does a 2 year old adjust to a new baby?

With lots of love and support. Chocolate on the occasion. Special gifts. And some healthy neglect. This is what I found when I let Mia color alone for a bit.

Sling Me

I always wanted to be a slinger...you know...the mom on the go with the baby strapped to her chest in a very cool and stylish sling. I never was a slinger with Mia because, well, frankly, we never left the house. It was a cold winter the year she was born and she was my one and only. We sat around topless, the two of us, and gazed at each other between snacks of rich and heavy foods. Now, having a toddler, my time topless is limited because we have to be out and about more. (The rich and heavy snacks have not disappeared though. Should I feel better that at least they are organic?) So, I am officially a slinger. We took our first walk - the four of us - me, Bijou, Mia, and Luca - and I felt like a warrior princess. A man jogged by and I wanted to shout, "Look at me! I'm out and about! And I have a huge dog and an infant and small child. Aren't you proud?" Mia ran ahead of me screaming, "I'm running! I'm running!" Poor kid has been cooped up for a few days while we're all recovering. Her blonde curls bobbed along as she swam through the tall grass. I walked behind her, still nervous in my new sling state, but loved the sun on my face. This is all going to work out. I have a good feeling about this two kid business. A very good feeling.

Contemplating life's bigger issues...

While he may be small, don't underestimate his power. What do you think he is pondering? (Is it just me or is he extremely cute?)

One Magic Kiss

I'm a bit in love lately with Brandi Carlile. The album, "The Story" is simply beautiful. I ran across this song while pregnant and was captivated. I find it so sweet...yet also almost haunting. It's a song that makes you feel...to your very core. http://new.music.yahoo.com/brandi-carlile/tracks/one-magic-kiss--59852715

Home sweet Home

Luca arrived fast and furiously. The labor, from start to finish, was about 5 hours - with only two of those hours in the hospital. Most of the hospital time was spent in "observation", which means they watch you on a monitor to determine whether or not you are truly in labor. I tried telling them that this little step was unnecessary. That I was in labor. That this little human would be arriving shortly. God it felt good to be so right. After I cuddled my little boy on my chest immediately after birth, I wanted to say to the shocked doctors standing around whispering that it sure came quickly, "See...I told you so." I refrained. And instead whispered sweet nothings to Luca.

Mia arrived to see her baby brother full of wonder and excitement. She loved the little hat and all of the baby things neatly packed in the drawers of his little crib on wheels. She excitedly went on a short walk with V to the nursery to check out all of the other new arrivals - looking just as shocked and concerned as our little one. Time slipped away and V and Mia never seemed to return. Come to find out, Mia caught her finger in the door jam of a bathroom door and was sent off to the ER for x-rays and treatment. When V called from the bowels of the hospital with the news, all I heard was my little Mia wailing in the background. What's a bed bound mother to do? I anxiously clock watched until she came back to me, hand dramatically held high in the air with fingers taped tightly together. She had a new stuffed animal tucked securely under one arm and a Popsicle dripping sloppily in her other hand. She stated, "I got my fingers stuck in a door. I had to have an x-ray. X-ray starts with "x"." God how I love this kid.

She felt much better after getting to sit in my bed and sip from my cup, like the patient that she ended up being. That moment was sort of a premonition for motherhood of two. Mom gets kicked out of her hospital bed within hours of delivering because it's needed by someone else. When you are having your second, you don't get the special treatment that you receive when you are having your first. It just doesn't happen. Nurses would poke their heads and say, "You o.k.?" They would ask to fill up the water, only to find it full....I already did it. Extra pillows? Already found them in the bottom drawer of the pullout. V was actually my man servant most of the time so I shouldn't pretend that I was in there bleaching floor tiles and ringing out laundry. I was doted on. And I loved every minute of it.

It is a sweet time - in the hospital, and now at home. It's a time that I'll always cherish. My heart feels fuller. I find myself wanting to say it more often, more loudly. V is a good good man and understands this. When he pops into the room to check on me and I awkwardly blurt out that he completes me in ways I never knew were possible before I ask him to put my underwear into the dryer, he smiles. When I came upstairs last night and tearfully told him how much I love our family, he nods. He feels it all too but he just doesn't have the hormones raging through his system to make it an embarrassing proclamation like I do. Just now, at the grocery store, I looked at Mia and told her how much I love her...so much so that I just can't explain it. She stared at me and looked at my hands which were holding a bunch of apples. "We're getting apples too?" was her response. I can't expect her to understand. Or Luca. Or maybe even V. I do think this powerful surge is what mothers feel. It feels good.