The Nine Commandments

Chautauqua Park.  Boulder.  This place is like a second home in ways.  The familiar trail through the parched and wide expanse of grass that leads up into the trees...ahhh....how I've run that trail many many times.  Raising tiny Coloradans is a pretty cool gig.  This state offers so many awesome adventures.  And hiking is just one.  Today's hike led me to compile a list of basic rules when hiking with tykes.  Here goes. 

Rule Number One.  See that backpack?  It won't stay on very long.  Even if it's teeny tiny.  Even if it's pink.  Even if it's stuffed full of their favorite things (or empty).  So, my rule is to encourage small hikers to hike sans gear.  At least until they really are big enough that you can demand that they do it themselves.  You know what I found in that pack on the trail when she started to complain that it was too heavy?  A Leap Frog.  Yes, the computer game.  With no batteries.  "What it God's name???" I called out as I dug through the backpack that I had already checked before we left the house to make sure no toys snuck in.  "Who needs a Leap Frog on a trail???" I asked in all sincerity.  "I do." she responded with sincerity that matched my own. 

Rule Number Two.  Always share your peanut butter sandwich on the trail.  Pack easy light stuff with the understanding that for every 25 steps, a snack break is usually required.  See this pit stop?  This occurred about 18 feet from the car.  Within plain sight of the trail head.  I said, "Really guys?  Here?"  Mia said, "Yes.  You said we could stop at a rock to eat and here is a rock.  A great big one that's big enough for me, Luca, and a peanut butter sandwich."

Rule Number Three.  Keep a sense of humor.  Enjoy them.  Enjoy the day.  Enjoy the knowledge that "hiking" doesn't mean what it usually means when you have three footers on the trail with you. 

Rule Number Four.  Stop a lot.  Admire things.  Study.  Point out various grasses.  Birds.  Bugs.  The more attention you call to your surroundings, the more time you have to stay on the trail, as opposed to the rocks along the side gobbling up all of the peanut butter sandwiches. 

Rule Number Five.  Wear appropriate gear.  The kids have great hiking shoes.  Nice canvas hats to shield the sun.  Lightweight clothing.  Sunscreen.  So what did both kids grab on their way to the trail?  The crappy sunglasses the dentist gave them to shield their eyes from the light as he examines their teeth.  So much for the name brand items I had stuffed in my pack. 

Rule Number Six.  Have an end goal.  A destination, a kid friendly destination.  Remember that kids are not tiny adults.  I was reminded this as I began to lengthen my stride and push into that place inside my belly that gets excited by the idea of a challenge.  I am an endurance junkie.  That feeling that kicks in around mile 6?  That's like a drug to me.  My kids don't share this vice.  Yet.  The idea of doing something just to do it, to feel that release of calming endorphins doesn't entice them.  A park though?  That's like crack to my kids.  I promised the park after a bit of time on the trail. 

Rule Number Seven.  Call it a day while things are still positive.  Happy.  Mia and Luca skittered down the trail like scrappy pups when I called time and the experience was a good one.  We ended up down on Pearl Street at the fountains for a romp through the water and a picnic lunch. 

Rule Number Eight.  Allow yourself to feel feelings of frustration laced in with your feelings of joy.  Sometimes even the most fun of adventures can lead you to get shot in the eye with a loose spray of water.  Remember rule number three.  About humor.  These are just kids after all.  And it's just a hike.  Tears.  Fights.  Skinned knees.  It's all a part of a productive day. 

And finally, Rule Number Nine.  Reward yourself.  Raise a glass to raising kids who will hopefully share their love of this great place we call home.  Viva la Colorado.

Play

V is quite possibly the better parent than I.  It's true.  He really plays with the kids.  I mean, like, on the floor kind of playing.  Making noises.  Building things and then pretending that something/someone is coming to destroy it and they all take cover behind the couch kind of play.  I facilitate play.  I set it up. I laugh along with and encourage.  I will whoop and holler accordingly.

But there's a difference. 

I'm o.k. with this shortcoming of mine because, as I told V, I make up for it in other ways.  This family would be a bunch of scoundrels - rummaging through neighbor's yards for food - if it wasn't for me.  Holidays would be mere dates on calendars without the loving touch of moi. Fingernails would be so ungodly long.  And the sheets would never get washed.  I play a big role around here, that's for certain, but without V - life for my kids wouldn't be the same. 

I took a long shower this morning.  And then took the time to blow dry my hair.  I put on makeup too.  I just kind of lingered, which I never really do because I'm a busy lady (see above...nails to cut, sheets to wash).  When I came downstairs, the kids and V had set up "school", which they do from time to time.  Luca was in his Mickey Mouse costume (which should be illegal because it's so cute) and Mia was dressed as a princess (but of course).  They were dutifully practicing their letters and having a grand ol' time.  V was in full character - wise old teacher with a funny voice.   

Quite fitting that V took on the persona of a teacher today because there is a lesson at the end of every day for me, and today's was to play more (thanks Teach).  I'm a good human being and I don't like to end every tiring day with a goal.  A reminder of what I'm not doing, because I don't think that's healthy.  But, today, I'm letting myself end it with a possibility, not a should. 

I am deeming it possible that I jump behind the couch when creatures come to invade, or serenade a princess from the foot of a bed, or swim from one side of the playroom to the other with sharks at my heels.  I'm deeming it possible not because I should.  Or need to. 

But because I want to. 

Because it's fun. 

Safety First

Luca got his first bike helmet and he has only taken it off to sleep.  But it has slept with him, so as to never be out of reach.  This was taken this morning at 6:45 a.m.

V dropped his bike to run inside quickly and when we came out, we noticed Luca's bike propped on its side, like Daddy's. 

Mia and Daddy just before their bike ride. 

And they're off.  With Mia on a two wheeler now, and Luca a pretty decent trike "scooter" (he doesn't use the pedals but instead scoots his feet like a sand crab), it leaves me to be the one carrying everything to the pool, like some kind of suburban sherpa.  I was loaded down with towels and toys as they cruised ahead of me, my girl coasting in the middle of the street next to her dear ol' dad.  More incentive for me to get her new bike WITH a basket so she can carry her own gear.

Flour Gal!

My niece, Lyla, is THE flour gal!  She's only 11 but has decided that she wants to start her dream now, rather than later.  She has wanted to own her own bakery for years and recently embarked on opening her own "shop"!  Her specialty?  Cupcakes.  Check out her website - www.flourgal.com

The girl has some skills!  Her cupcakes aren't your run of the mill cupcakes; they rival that of any bakery cupcake I've ever had.  Truly delicious. 

How I love to see women taking risks and taking charge.  Nice work Lyla!!

Lemonade?

Two lemonade princesses.  These two parked themselves on the corner with a wagon and some lemonade.  They actually went up to the pool first to sell their goods but came home kind of defeated when they announced that another stand had gotten there first, "with punch AND cookies."  This is business girls.  Early bird gets the worm.  And the bird with cookies will probably sell more cups of lemonade. 

Mother's Helper Extraordinaire.  Lyla was their watchful chaperone and even had Luca with them.  The girls shouted, "Lemonade!  Get your lemonade!" while Luca walked around feeling important. 

I like this photo....of the wagon with their lemonade supplies in the back.  Better luck next time ladies. 

Self Portrait of the Pellegrino ladies

These glasses were a gift in a b-day party goodie bag.  Mia likes to wear them around the house now.  She walked over to me tonight and said, "Here Mom.  You put these on.  I think they're your size." 

My Dad and Theirs

We woke up this morning and headed to the cemetery to meet my mom.  With it being Father's Day, I thought we could visit Dad's stone.  The kids traipsed through the vibrant green grass and ran their fingers along rough granite grave markers and traced the smooth grooves where names had been carved.  Mia asked me to read all of the names to her.  She would spell out the letters and say, "Mom, what does this one say?"  They giggled and chased each other while we waited for my mom to arrive.  I sat back, equipped with an iced coffee, and just watched them play.  Memories flooded my mind.  Of my brothers and sister and I as kids, walking the aisles of various cemeteries.   I remember my dad and I driving way out when I was about 13 or so, just for a day adventure.  We came across an old cemetery and we quietly walked through it.  Old old stones.  My dad and I knelt and wiped off some of the stones so we could figure out who lay beneath us.  And how old they were when they died.  My dad loved history, and especially the kind of history that revealed itself organically.  Like visiting an old town and taking wrong turns to discover hidden landmarks.  Or piecing together details of long forgotten daily life by studying everyday artifacts from the past.  We kids inherited some crappy DNA (hello, breast cancer?  I'm talking to you) but we also inherited this awesome sense of wonder about people, places, and the past.  We all get a strange rush when we're in the midst of the solemn silence of a graveyard.  "Do you feel it?" we've asked each other.  All of us nodding furiously.  "Yes.  We feel it." 

The ice clinked against my cup and melted quickly in the sun.  The kids were pink and sweaty and when my mom arrived, watering Dad's flowers was the perfect way to cool off.  They ran back and forth to the water spicket and watched as my mom weeded the grave.  My mom, always the one with the perfect words, told both Mia and Luca what Papa would love about them.  My throat tightened when she said that Papa would have loved the way Luca was always eager to help.  I still sometimes have to remind myself that Dad never met Luca.  She then said, "Do you want to know what Papa loved about your mom?"  I felt like a kid, because I nodded yes, along with Mia and Luca.  "That she was such a hard worker.  And loyal.  And he loved that she was a writer, a keeper of sentiment."  I wish I could have responded Mom, with a heartfelt thank you.  But I thought if I spoke I might cry.  I get through most days quite happily, missing him in the best sense of the word.  I rarely mourn what isn't because it's just not the way we were raised.  I know to celebrate the moment.  But when you mentioned today a few of the reasons Dad loved me, I just felt the hole.  The tiny part of me that so desperately wants to be able to hear it again.  Hear again why he loves me.  Hear again that I've made him proud. 

It was beyond special. Just being there today. With my kids. With Mom. It's a happy day - a day that I feel profoundly grateful to have had such an incredible dad and to be partners with a man in the throes of fatherhood, and doing a stellar job. I see how lucky Mia and Luca are to have you V.

So, to my dad, and to you V, Happy Father's Day.

Mia gave V a frame with this inside of it.  Her teachers questioned her and then wrote her answers down.  Hands down....this was V's best Father's Day gift!!  (Click on the image to enlarge it to be able to read it.)

Pool Pals

Mia has been hitting the pool with some friends lately.  She loves swimming and doing it WITH buddies takes the level of fun over the top for the kids. Just this past week we went up to Ft. Collins to spend the day with Rachel and Brynn on Brynn's 4th birthday!  We also swam with Amy and baby Maddie - Maddie's first time swimming!

 The other day, as Mia twirled by me in the pool, swooshing past me with her new found skill of "dolphin kicks", she said, "I love the feeling of being in water."  And with that, her head bobbed down and she disappeared beneath the surface. 

She swam the length of the pool for the first time the other day.  I was sitting on the edge, watching Luca in the little pool while also keeping an eye on Mia.  I saw her dive under the water and I immediately stood, on guard.  I hollered after her, telling her that I should be in there with her when she's in the 8 feet section.  She didn't hear me though as she was in full swimmer mode.  Our pool is small, and well watched by dutiful guards, but I still had that pang of panic that only a mom has when her teeny tiny kid sets off to do something for the first time.  I saw our awesome guard clench, gripping her floatie in case she needed to go in.  We both stood, at the ready and maybe a bit nervous, but more excited for what we knew Mia could do.  Mia surfaced on the other side and looked at both of us with such a funny expression.  "What did you say Mom?"  she yelled back to me.  "Nothing Mia.  Nice work on your swim.  I was just shouting nice work!"  The guard gave her a thumbs up and we both settled back into our positions, relaxing again. 

And it hit me, that parenthood is often about hiding some of these huge waves of emotion. Hiding the anxiety that I sometimes feel when my kids are about to embark on something new. And also curbing the amount of pride that swells inside of me when I see them either exceling or handling failure gracefully. As a parent, you can't help but invest yourself in their accomplishments and struggles. But, more important than my investment in them, is their investment in themselves. I saw Mia set her jaw square and give an easy thumbs up back to the guard and I knew she swam that length of pool for herself. Not for anyone else. 

Mia and Luca pushing baby Maddie around the pool with her floatie. 

Mia and Brynn.  So fun to see them play together.  And always fun to reunite with Rach. 

The girls enjoying a birthday cupcake in honor of being FOUR!

Searching for Independence

We're not huge TV watchers around here, but I'm not going to lie to you - that big box of nothing can be a brilliant babysitter when you're in a pinch.  Luca though simply hasn't taken to it.  I should be thrilled right?  A child that doesn't like TV!  Those evenings that I just need 30 minutes though are tough when you're dealing with a 2 year old whose favorite word is "NO!" "Just a few minutes" I'll beg.  "Just so I can run to the kitchen to cook."  The hour that everyone is melting down and slowly "dying of starvation" (according to Mia), is the hour that Luca needs only me.  And ALL of me too.  He is not happy when I try to multitask during his time of need.  I introduced Thomas the Train tonight.  And check out my boy's face.  Enthralled.  He gave me about 14 minutes.  It's a start. 

Here he is after he discovered that I was photographing this rare moment, of him sitting still.  He whooped and yelled and the moment was over. 

Daddy is fixing Mia's two wheeler and Luca turned his bike over too.  Just to do what Daddy was doing. 

He found all kinds of things to turn and push.  Maybe when I need 30 minutes I'll just pull the trike in and turn in upside down.  Who would have thought?

All good days must come to an end.  Mia always chooses to end it with a breeze in her hair.  And she can pump on her own!  Another triumph for her.  (And me too!  I no longer have to endure shouts of "HIGHER!")

Luca now ends his with a shower.  Mia showers now too.  While a part of me mourns each step toward independence, another part of me is rejoicing in the few minutes that their growing capabilities buy me.  Now what to do with all of my free time? 

A familiar face and a new one too

A dear friend old friend came into town for the weekend and we were excited to tickle more toes and another tummy.  Anne brought her new baby girl home for a visit. 

Seeing Mia holding baby Catherine is like seeing me holding Anne.  These two little ladies are our doppelgangers I think!

Luca liked Catherine but when he realized she didn't make zooming noises or squirt water, he got a bit bored.  Mia though, this girl is a future babysitter for sure.  She has some mad skills in the baby wrangling department. 

Mia holding baby Catherine and me holding my baby.  Luca thought it was hilarious to be rocked like an itty bitty.  I still do that to both kids from time to time. Sometimes, I gather those long gangly legs and arms against my chest, and I rock back and forth.  They laugh and tell me to do it again.  They like me to tell them stories about them as babies.  My stories always end with me telling each of them that it is my most special privilege....being their mom.   

We have a bunch of pictures just like this one.  With the two of us standing shoulder to shoulder, sometimes with a kid or two in the frame.  Sometimes just us.  We try to connect whenever we're in the same city, either here or in VA.  I joked today that maybe we didn't need another photo of us standing like this.  But each time I see one, I'm so glad we did it.  To mark these years that just seem to move too quickly.  We've changed a lot over the years but the core of our friendship has remained constant.  As has our favorite photo stance. 

Always good to see you old friend.  Mi casa es su casa.